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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28270776">the boy who died</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiritmar/pseuds/spiritmar'>spiritmar</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, The Nether (Minecraft), dream fucked this one up, dream vs the smp, ghostbur is sad, phil and techno pummel dream, tommy's ghost is lost, tubbo is heartbroken</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:28:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,236</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28270776</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiritmar/pseuds/spiritmar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>❝maybe it was the pain that drove him to the brink of insanity.❞</p><p>what happens when the boy who's described as a ticking time bomb meets his ultimate doom?</p><p>or </p><p>dream finally pushes tommy to his breaking point and now faces the consequences of the younger boys death.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clay | Dream &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; TommyInnit, Clay | Dream &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Dream SMP Ensemble &amp; TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; TommyInnit, TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>240</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. he was just a boy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"i promise i'l take the prettiest picture!" ghostbur exclaims his smile spreading across his face as he nods at lanky blonde boy. tommy notices the blue polaroid camera in hand as he clutches it clearly excited.</p><p>tommy simply couldn't say no to the excited ghost. though, he wanted to see the tree in person. he wanted to go <em>home<em>. just at the though of it made tommy clench his fist nails digging into his palm hoping to distract him from the bitter memory.</em></em></p><p>unbenounced a familiar masked man noticed this motion a smirk curling behind his pristine white mask at the sick idea. he sauntered over to where tommy and ghostbur were ushering the ghost into the portal watching as ghostbur waved back at tommy before disappearing to the overworld.</p><p>a hand grips tommy shoulder from behind him making him flinch but he doesn't look back feeling the overwhelming presence of the masked man, "you know what tommy i think you can wait a few minutes, i'll head over with ghostbur to see the tree." dream whispered leaning down towards tommy's ear smirking. he feels the shudder the younger man gives him proof of how far he conditioned the poor boy.</p><p>"oh i wanna go as well!" sapnap cheers ignoring how uncomfortable tommy looked and pushing past the two and into the portal.</p><p>the minute the raven was gone dream's grip on tommy's shoulder tightens giving the boy a non verbal warning. after what feels like ages the masked man purposely pulls tommy back using him as leverage to push his own self forward and to the portal. not expecting it, tommy fell to the ground the netherrack burning his palms and lower body. finally craning his head up tommy catches the older boy in the portal looking down, his ever smiling mask almost mocking him, as he watches the once cheerful boy on the ground before he gets transported. tommy could have sworn he heard a chuckle as the boy was sent to the overworld.</p><p>tommy let out a breathe he didn't even know he was holding as he dug his nails into the netherrack cracking them. he stares at the fists clenching harder he comes to realizes all of festivities that were happening on the other side without him. maybe one of his friends would visit him before christmas...</p><p>friends?</p><p>the blonde boy scoffs at that word pushing himself up and glaring at the portal. he had no one. no l'manburg. no discs. no friends. no tub-</p><p>tommy almost curses himself for saying his name and bringing back both good and bad memories. shaking his head he screws his eyes shut and ponders within the silence. oh. the silence. tommy doesn't know if he loves or hates how quiet it is, it used to be so much livelier when he was with him.</p><p>the boy's hand reached into his torn pocket to retrieve something a precious item ghostbur gave him. the compass reflected in the small area as he rubbed his thumb over the inscribed words.</p><p>
  <em> your tubbo. </em>
</p><p>at the sight of his name tommy felt his body go slack truly realizing what he had lost. he had lost his family over some stupid argument and no one was there to comfort him. the silence clawed at his ears making his head swirl as he staggered the faces of his friends and family flashing through his eyes. he had nothing, the boy was belittled to a shell of what he used to be.</p><p>"the silence." a voice in his head whispered. wait. tommy's eyes snapped open as he remembered he had the silence, he had something to call his own. but dream would take it away. dream would take it just as he took every last bit of his sanity and remembrance of happier times. his own mind boggled his thoughts convincing him that it was one more thing dream would take away from him, and only then would he truly have nothing.</p><p>his thoughts were broken as he recognized the whoosh from the portal indicating someone had come through. his eyes zeroed in on the masked green man and that was when his fight or flight kicked in. he was here to take away his silence, he was here to finally break him down. tommy stepped back from the man his whole body trembling finally making a decision out of a broken boy's thoughts.</p><p>the younger gave the older blonde a crazed smile and that was when dream truly realized how far he had pushed tommy. not even able to form a sentence dream was only able to watch as tommy stepped back one more time clutching his compass and falling back into the lava a large smile on his face.</p><p>tommy would keep his silence, even if it cost him his life.</p><hr/><p>"-eam. DREAM!" sapnap's voice shouted waving a hand in front of dream's face concern etched into his own. dream was torn from his trance, looking at his surroundings he realized where he was. when did he run to the ledge? his eyes trailed back to the lava pool the heat rubbing against his face as his eyes scanned the bubbles the lava produced hoping to see tommy's head pop out and laugh saying it was a joke.</p><p>the moment never came.</p><p>"oh god." dream whispered his voice hoarse, he assumes at one point he was screaming.</p><p>"dude are you okay? me and wilbur came back and you were just screaming at the ledge. you weren't thinking about doing anything right?" sapnap hurried hooking his hands under dreams arms hoisting him away from the edge.</p><p>so he did scream.</p><p>"dream!" ghostbur hurried placing a ghostly hand on his shoulder, "where's tommy, are you okay?"</p><p>the blonde boy craned his head towards the ghost tears welling under his mask as he stared. shaking his head he tried to get his voice as stable as possible before speaking hoping not to alarm the two.</p><p>"tommy went ahead." dream whispered refusing to make eye contact, "he might have already made it to logstedshire."</p><p>dream tunes out what the pair say next but he watches as ghostbur smiles widely motioning to a polaroid enthusiastically. he removed the hand on dream's shoulder and reaches out into his pocket for the familiar clear crystals he likes to hand out. the ghost extends his hand to the blonde happily smiling offering a couple. dream shakily reached out his own hand to grab them watching as they quickly turn blue supposed to take away his sadness but in reality couldn't do anything for the heartbroken boy. seeing the blonde take his crystals made the ghost smile even more before ruffling dream's hair and walking on the path towards logstedshire.</p><p>the minute wilbur was out of hearing range sapnap stood in front of dream, "he's not there is he?" sapnap's voice trembles causing dream to look at the raven. the younger now had his hand against his mouth staring at the edge where he previously pulled dream from pieces clicking together.</p><p>"there is nothing we could have done sap." dream whispers slowly standing to put a hand on his friends shoulder even when he himself was shaking.</p><p>faster than an arrow sapnap slapped the blonde's hand away and that was when dream noticed the tears in his black eyes. the blonde stumbled back a bit before regaining his balance and staring at the other boy.</p><p>"nothing we could have done?" sapnap yelled tears now falling down his face, "h-he was just a— he was just a boy dream!"</p><p>dream's mouth set into a thin line at the words internally cringing, "he <em>was</em>." dream corrected regretting the statement the minute he said it.</p><p>a gasp echoed the area and dream scanned sapnap's face for his reaction.</p><p>"you monster dream." sapnap whispered shaking his head and pulling up his sleeve to wipe his tears. the raven then stalked forward pushing past dream who swiftly turned to grab the younger's sleeve.</p><p>"where are you going?" dream hurriedly asked, scared to be alone.</p><p>sapnap scoffed yanking his sleeve out of the masked man's grasp, "a boy just died dream, an important one at that, someone has to tell everyone." he stated whispering the last part before walking to the portal and leaving to the overworld.</p><p>sapnap doesn't blame dream right? it was an accident. he just went a little too far with his wor-</p><p>"dream?"</p><p>at the sound of his name his head snaps up meeting the eyes of the dead. his body tenses noticing the smile still on his face, camera around his neck, and polaroid in his hand as he held it as if it was a treasure.</p><p>"i heard yelling, is everything alright? sapnap went through the portal, did you two get into an argument? do you need some more blue? i really want to show tommy this photo so please let's go!" the ghost rambled still smiling through it all showing said photo to dream to prove his point.</p><p>"it wasn't a— whatever. cmon lets go tommy is waiting." dream fumbles with his words spitting out the last part like poison to appease ghostbur.</p><p>ghostbur smiles brighter, if it was even possible, and leads the way to logstedshire talking animatedly as if dream was listening. the blonde's heart twists and coils as they walk towards the next portal.</p><p>one boy was expecting to see another blonde and the other was replaying his death in his head.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>did a lil wordplay with the chapter title "the boy who lived" (ya know harry potter" instead as "the boy who died" ya see?</p><p>anyways!! my upload schedule will be a bit weird sorry about that but thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. lost</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>a boy wakes up grey and cold, but where the hell did he end up?</p><p>or </p><p>l'manburg has a new ghost coming their way but he can't seem to remember where or who he is.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>cold.</p><p>the harsh wind nipped at his face as he laid in the snow surrounded by tall spruce trees. his pale blue eyes slowly opened flinching at the sun before blinking to adjust to the area. his bones ached and his head felt like it was swirling. he held a hand up to block the sun but it came to no avail.</p><p>"HOLY SHIT!" the blonde screamed looking at his now transparent hand. his breathing quickened as he scrambled back only to be met with a large tree trunk. the impact caused a bit of snow to fall on his head which sent a sharp shiver down his spine.</p><p>his eyes moved to scan this new location before landing on a small cave which could hold as protection from the harsh wind. using the tree as support, the blonde slid up against the tree his legs wobbling like a new born deer. he let his legs adjust before slowly walking towards the cave as the wind picked up almost toppling the poor ghost over. when he finally made it to the cave he stumbled to the back of said structure hoping to get away from the cold. even as a ghost he seemed to be picky about temperature.</p><p>the ghost sat down on the ground whimpering at the cold rock before adjusting and leaning his back against it. he closed his eyes breathing in and out trying to calm his racing heart and mind.</p><p>where the hell was he?</p><p>well, he would have to solve that mystery himself so he tried to think about the moment that he died. he closed his eyes tighter hoping to pick out something in his mush like brain to figure out what the happened to him and why he was laying in the middle of the snow. crossing his arms, he tilted his head back and picked out things from the mush. his brain then diverted him to a memory, while it was hazy he tried to adjust and look for pieces that would answer his questions.</p><p><em>"it was really warm."</em> he thought.</p><p>
  <em>in fact, it wasn't just warm it was blazing hot the total opposite of the freezing cold he was sitting through right now. the memory was really red... red floor, red ceiling, red lava, red-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>oh green.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>there was a fuzzy green blob that was in front of him. though, his brain didn't seem to like this memory as it made his body go slack and his heart start racing. did he not like this green person? his lips pressed into a thin line as he tried to dig deeper into this memory in search of an answer. to what the ghost believed to be in retaliation, a sharp jolt of pain was shot through his head causing him to cry out opening his eyes and losing the memory.</em>
</p><p>"okay fine!" the boy scowled, "let's think about something else then." he compromised closing his eyes once again.</p><p>
  <em>this time it seemed he was with another fuzzy blob, it was tall and had what looked like a black and white half face. the red and green eyes bore into his own as the blob laughed and his attention was turned to something that was on—</em>
</p><p>
  <em>FIRE?!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>the ghosts heart rate went up as his alive self seemed to be laughing with the blob as they stared at a house which he assumes they caught on fire. </em>
</p><p>he felt happy though. this blob didn't give him pain like the other did. was this a happy memory? was this blob a friend of his alive self? would he come look for the dead one?</p><p>
  <em>the memory flashed once again and this time there was another tall blob— was everyone in his life just tall? this blob had brown hair and a long trenchcoat which draped around his figure in an imposing way. the blob grabbed his shoulders smiling manically his kind brown eyes tainting red as he spoke to his alive self.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"...are we the bad guys?" the figure questioned grip tightening on his alive forms shoulders.</em>
</p><p><em>"</em>wait, go back!<em>"</em> the ghost wanted to yell. the memory might have just said his name and he missed it, he missed a hell of an important clue. his body was screaming at him to abandon the memory fear filling his body at the sight of the man in front of him.<br/> <br/><em>"....then let's be the bad guys!" the man yelled again laughing psychotically.</em></p><p>a sharp pain ran through the ghosts head similar to the first memory but he kept his eyes shut he needed to know his name he needed to—</p><p>
  <em>"tommy." a soft voice whispered the sound of it reliving the pain in his head and making his body feel like it was floating. the ghosts eyes scanned the area of the new memory. it was a bench and he was sitting looking at the sunset a soft song, that seemed familiar, playing in the background. what was the main feature was the brunette sitting next to him a large smile on his face as he leaned against the bench. a warm feeling bubbled inside the ghost as he yearned to be closer the the other boy feeling safe. </em>
</p><p>wait tommy?</p><p>this new piece of information caused the ghost to smile at the name realizing it was most likely his own. that was one part of the mystery of himself solved. turning his attention back to the boy he squinted harder hoping to get a clearer picture of the boy. he felt important to tommy and he wanted to see him clearer. but he also felt like he did something bad to him, he wanted to apologize. tommy frowned trying to reach out to the boy only for the memory to waver then disappear. the warmth left his chest leaving him in the reality of the harsh cold circumstances he was thrown in. </p><p>even with that pondered the new memory and information, "my name is tommy." the ghost whispered a smile reach his face as he recalled the hazy face of the boy in the memory. he wished to meet him again.</p><p>hopefully he would remember him. h̶e̶ ̶d̶o̶e̶s̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶r̶e̶m̶e̶m̶b̶e̶r̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶.̶</p><p>tommy frowned at the angry voice in his head and shook it off trying to bring back the memory that filled his body with warmth. it didn't come back. the ghost was left to ponder in his own thoughts trying to pick out other memories to no avail. </p><p>sighing, tommy let his hand drop to his side scraping against the cold cave floor. dragging his hand up his leg his transparent fingers were met with a bump in his leg. out of curiosity he dug into his pocket pulling out a disfigured object. it seemed to be a melted compass of some sort. running a thumb across it he removed the soot and ash revealing the silver metal along with engraved words. lifting it up to his eye the ghost tried to make out the words based on what was left. </p><p>
  <em>your t</em>
</p><p>"t?" tommy questioned tilting his head to the side trying to figure our the rest of the word. after about 5 minutes and great eyestrain the boy came up with nothing. letting out a sad huff, the boy slumped further clutching the compass next to his heart a new memory coming through. it seemed they only came when they wanted to, not when tommy wanted them. </p><p>
  <em>"what does tommy like? his favorite thing in the whole wide world is t—" another ghost like figure exclaimed.</em>
</p><p>the ghost was similar to the scary brunette from his third memory but way... happier. opening his eyes a bit to look at the compass and scanning it for other information, which was none besides the name. this led the boy to ponder on new questions: would this compass would lead him home? to the one person who made him feel excited and a person who was his whole world? did he really have someone like that? tommy smiled. </p><p>there was someone. h̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶t̶r̶a̶y̶e̶d̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶.̶</p><p>he made him feel happy. h̶e̶ ̶a̶l̶s̶o̶ ̶m̶a̶d̶e̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶ ̶d̶e̶s̶p̶a̶i̶r̶.̶</p><p>his smile gave him butterflies. i̶t̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶a̶ ̶f̶a̶c̶a̶d̶e̶.̶</p><p>a harsh wind gust snapped the boy out of his thoughts leaving his eyes to trail over to the entrance to the cave watching the snow fall harder leaving the ground in a thick blanket of white. the boy frowned at the thought of having to trek through it later but pushed the thought to the side opting to deal with it when the time comes. deciding to take a nap, tommy sat there clutching his newly prized compass running a thumb over the engraving one last time before bringing it back to his heart and closing his eyes for a final time that day. he would make it back to wherever his home was, he had to promise himself.</p><p>after all, <em>his</em> t was waiting for him. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ghostinnit!!!!! everyones reaction to tommy's death comes next chapter and let me just say dream is in deep shit.</p><p>btw i'm not romantically shipping tommy and tubbo it is all platonic!!</p><p>in later chapters i'll dive into how tommy went from the nether to the snow! and maybe who brought him there ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. as the world caves in</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>the small world of l'manburg is about to turn upside down with the screams of its residents.</p><p>or </p><p>sapnap breaks the news tubbo and l'manburg on what happened in the nether. let's just say it doesn't go well.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>tubbo was close to losing it.</p><p>he didn't know how people could run a country, correctly, and still manage to stay sane as well as have downtime. stacks of never-ending papers piled up in his office along with the constant complaints of citizens trying to get the young boy to solve their problems. time mushed together leading days to drag on, meals to be missed, and sleep to come in short bursts, though never enough to satisfy his body. not to mention the migraines. tubbo didn't remember when they started but the pain crawled through pulsing and churning his head. they became a daily event in his routine. </p><p>none of the pills niki gave him seemed to work either. in fact, it made the pain worse leading it to spread near his heart as if constricting it with an iron grip. there was only one thing that soothed his head and it was remembering a certain bench sitting with a blonde and listening to a disc. tubbo liked humming the tune of mellohi imagining the simpler times. the pain, as if sentient, liked it too. whenever tubbo hummed he could feel it slowly receding like a snake coiling back and into its nest. </p><p>just like now, tubbo would start humming matching the tune of mellohi letting his eyes close as he leaned back into his chair. his mind traveled to a beautiful sunset as the song vividly played in the background, it felt nice. it felt nice to be sitting with the boy on the bench, it made him happy. it made him feel like a kid, not a ruler of a country being shoved in without help or no prior knowledge. </p><p>oh did he miss his to—</p><p>"sapnap!" someone yelled interrupting tubbo's thoughts, "you can't just barge in— hey wait don't push me dude that's not cool!" the voice yelled outside the small office, tone frantic and scared.</p><p>"quackity move your ass out of the way i need to see tubbo!" sapnap's familiar voice yelled out, desperate and unwavering.</p><p>"then book a damn appointment tubbo is the president treat him with respect!" alex seethed trying to hold the other boy back and away from the office.</p><p>tubbo slowly got up heading to the small rectangle window next to the chair lifting up a section of the blinds to see what was happening. his eyes zeroed in on sapnap's face ushed with tears as he was trying his hardest to hold them back. his usual playful presence felt tainted and unfamiliar the more tubbo stared at him. without realizing he moved away from the window and to the door reaching the handle to open it. sapnap was the first to notice, his glassy eyes boring into tubbo's pleading for him to call off alex. </p><p>"quackity." tubbo stated grabbing the attention of said man, "it's fine, i needed a break anyways. please sapnap come on in." he softly said opening the door wider to allow the older to come in.</p><p>"tubbo please you can't, you have so much word to do." quackity started lips pressing into a firm line, "plus i— sorry <em>we</em> have to go to fundy's to sign that bill for <em>my</em>— dammit our country." the boy fumbled with his words constantly changing them. </p><p>tubbo wasn't stupid.</p><p>he always noticed how alex would always call the country his and call the shots but he chose to ignore it. maybe he was just trying to help. the younger knew it wasn't the case but had to pray for it. tubbo would have to force himself to try to speak up against the older and defy one of his set actions once.</p><p>as if reading the brunettes mind sapnap spoke up pushing alex back harshly causing him to stumble, "tubbo's the president he can do whatever the hell he wants! or are you so far stuck up your own ass that you think you are the one truly in charge here." sapnap hissed his lips curling up into a snarl before stalking towards the open office.</p><p>after the raven walked in tubbo made eye contact with his vice-president giving him a meek smile. quackity, still shocked at the statement, huffed before rolling his eyes and turning the other way stomping down the hall. a sigh left the brunette's lips as he turned his own body shutting the door in the process. </p><p>"sapnap." tubbo said walking towards his the older boy, who was now sitting, a small smile on his face, "did you need anything? i thought you were out with dream today?"</p><p>"tubbo." sapnap simply answered tears filling his eyes threatening to spill over as he looked up him.</p><p>the brunettes eyes widened at the tears rushing to his desk to retrieve tissues fumbling to give them to the crying boy. he gently placed a hand on his shoulder frowning as the boys body started to shake. </p><p>"sapnap, hey what happened? you can tell me." the younger whispered trying to rub comforting circles on the raven's shoulder.</p><p>glassy eyes soon bore into blue ones lips quivering before letting out a sentence that would change the course of the next few months. </p><p>"tommy is dead tubbo."</p><p>some say that was a shot heard around the smp.</p><p>tubbo didn't remember when he fell to the ground but he sat there tears flowing down his face, hands clutching his suit jacket. his eyes blurred while his head spun leaving a white noise to mostly block out anything that was being said. through his blurry vision all he saw was the raven crouching near him mumbling words and patting the boys back. tubbo could only pick out a few words but pieced them together for an answer.</p><p>"tree. gone. suicide. dream. lava." were all tubbo could decipher as his headache worsened pulsating and what felt like continuous pressure against his skull. </p><p>the boy screamed.</p><p>he leaned his chest against the ground clutching his head as sobs filled the room and tears stained the carpet. the pressure on his shoulder left and he watched as shoes ran out of his office. his headache spread leaving his body to ache and tighten. his chest hurt the worst. his heart felt as if someone was squeezing until their own body trembled and refusing to let go. the boys fingers dug into his scalp pulling at his hair as if begging to take the pain away. pieces of his hair fell to the floor and blood in the form of tiny circles started to appear under his hair. the brunettes lips trembled as tears and snot tainted his face while the boy sat there alone on the carpet.</p><p>"tubbo!" a voice worriedly exclaimed sliding against the carpet to pull the boys hands away from his scalp. the blonde figure grabbed his face rubbing the pads of his thumb against the tear streaked cheeks. </p><p>"p-phil." tubbo choked out eyes getting glassy again as he stared at the man his green bucket hat laying loose on his untamed locks. the blonde scanned tubbo's face a frown spreading on his own before turning his head.</p><p>"sapnap get some water and a washcloth!" phil barked out eyes snapping to the frame of the office door as tubbo noticed the raven standing there chest heaving. with a quick nod the boy sped off again into the white house. "hey tubbo, can you do me a favor and look at me?" phil coaxed in a soft tone snapping tubbo's attention back to him.</p><p>tubbo obeyed his blue eyes staring into phil's as the older watched them fill with tears again. the two boys sat there on their knees unsaid words being spoken before phil quickly crushed tubbo into a hug wrapping one arm around the younger's waist and the other pulling his head into his own nape. the warm body calmed tubbo's headache a bit as more tear's quickly fell his head burying into phil's neck clutching his jacket gently. a pair black wings enclosed tubbo's body further leaving a gentle touch on his back.</p><p>"he's gone phil." tubbo whispered into said mans neck pulling back a bit to look at the older's face. the blonde let him lean back but his wings stayed up still wrapped around tubbo to provide a bit of comfort. </p><p>"i know." phil whispered back fingers running through tubbo's hair, "i know."</p><p>"cheesy to say but it feels like a part of me died," the brunette says. "and it was the best part."</p><p>a sad chuckle filled their small space as phil gave a small smile before he pulled tubbo into another hug, "he was your best friend tubbo, of course it hurts, it will for a while." the blonde stated leaning his cheek on top of the boy's head.</p><p>tubbo's eyes glossed with tears once again as he clung to the man's jacket once more squeezing the fabric within his fists. </p>
<hr/><p>it had taken around two hours for the brunette to finally be able to take deep breathes and for his headache to settle a bit. the pulsing sensation still lingered but he was able to think a bit clearer. sapnap had taken the liberty to wipe down his tear stricken face offering water which the younger quickly accepted gulping it down within seconds. the raven ruffled tubbo's hair giving him a small smile before walking out of the office for the final time. </p><p>tubbo's red rimmed eyes looked to phil a meek smile on his face as he leaned against the man. sapnap, when he ran into the white house, had noticed phil talking to fundy. so when the brunette delved into a panic attack, he figure the blonde would be able to help more. he was right. the older man had a way with words and his voice was quite soothing. not to mention his hugs. gosh did tubbo really love his hugs. they felt like home. </p><p>"sapnap said he would return home for a while." phil said arm still wrapped around tubbo's shoulder.</p><p>"did he tell you how many people he told?" tubbo whispered lips pressed into a firm line.</p><p>"just you and me bud." the older frowned realizing the burden tubbo would have to face at announcing it to the smp.</p><p>the brunette nodded eyes squeezing shut as his body went a bit slack, "i should tell alex to send an announcement to meet at the plaza to everyone."</p><p>"i'll go prep the stage, you okay walking on your own?" phil questioned gently letting the boy go when he nodded. the blonde walked out first and tubbo watched from the window at the balcony as the man's wings spread, reflecting beautifully in the sunlight, before he dived forward and towards the plaza. </p><p>tubbo straightened himself as he walked to his dest to fix his suit. his eyes traveled to the small item frame on his desk adorning the picture of a taller blonde making a silly face at the camera his red and white tee wrinkled and a bit dirty while tubbo stood in the background. the brunette's thumb ran across the blonde's face his headache speeding up.</p><p>"i'm sorry tommy."</p>
<hr/><p>the announcement went as most would have expected it to go. </p><p>tubbo had shakily stood on the stage tears ushed in his eyes as he stared at the fellow smp members. his voice cracked a bit when he revealed the boy's death which sent gasps across the area. some screams were let out as other people's body's fell to the ground and tears painted the floor. the president stood with his head down, shoulder's a bit sagged as he clenched his fists at the sounds. </p><p>"has anyone seen his ghost?" ranboo questioned after a couple of minutes. </p><p>when no one answered the tension levels within the town square rose, panic insinuating. after wilbur died his ghost showed up immediately to the spawn. with just an hour after his death ghostbur was already mingling with people as if it was his second nature.</p><p>it had been four hours since tommy had died.</p><p>tubbo's eyes widened at this realization looking over at phil who's mouth was widened a bit. their eyes met as this new bit of information settled within their minds. the brunette felt his headache stirring up once more before he watched phil extend his wings once more and fly up. the plaza sat in silence for around thirty minutes before phil's figure was finally seen again.</p><p>"he isn't here." the blonde whispered feathers bristling behind him once he landed.</p><p>"are you sure? maybe you could have missed him?" niki spoke up tears still fresh in her eyes.</p><p>"i lapped around the smp three times." phil stated as his fists clenched at his sides. </p><p>"oh no." bad whispered his black tail wrapping around his waist for comfort as he leaned against skeppy. </p><p>tommy's ghost was lost. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i'm sorry tubbo :(</p><p>dadza had made his appearance though!! i love phil's comforting nature so i just had to include it.</p><p>the only people not at the announcement were dream, techno, and ghostbur. </p><p>i'm also so sorry if my update schedule is a bit off once again. i just tested positive for COVID and haven't been feeling too well. let's just say the description of tubbo's headaches are exactly what i'm feeling right now</p><p> </p><p>happy new years everyone!! comments and kudos are greatly appreciated :D</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. rhinestone eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>the ruby red eyes felt heavy like rhinestone's as they bored into his blue ones.</p><p>or</p><p>tommy meets the person who brought him to the overworld.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this chapter is very dialogue heavy so please bare with me!! i hope you enjoy the chapter everyone!! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>someone was kicking him.</p><p>well, it was more of a soft kick but someone was still kicking him which pissed the young ghost off. tommy's eyes snapped open a glare immediately settling on the figure above him. his hands on instinct pushed the compass into his pocket and when he pulled his hands out he clenched them into fists.</p><p>"easy there tiger, no ones here to hurt you." the red haired figured chuckled as they crouched to meet tommy's level.</p><p>"now who the hell would you be?" tommy hissed sitting up a bit to try to meet the height of the figures imposing form. it was to no avail, even while tommy was 6'1 this figure was at least 6'9 surpassing the height of sam. wait who the heck was sam? did he know— that wasn't important right now. he shook his head slightly to clear his thoughts and looked back up at the person.</p><p>he gasped as he got a good look at them.</p><p>their bright red hair was about four inches below their shoulders and looked like pure silk. along with their impressive height they had a muscular body that showed how much effort they had put in but it was still lean probably allowing them to be able to avoid and run quickly. their face seemed to be settled forever with a smirk and a small scar went over their eyebrow leaving a slit. they wore black slacks that looked pressed and neat. their white dress shirt was folded to their elbows and had slight red patterns at the cuffs. their hands were covered in rings and the boy noticed some of the scars on their hands which he assumed was from sword training. they also adjourned black combat boots that were sturdy, good for running and stability in battle. tommy's eyes then zeroed in on the silver necklace they wore which contrasted well against their pale skin. the silver chain held up the medium red gemstone that swirled with orange and yellow, it kind of looked similar to lava. the ghost's eyes then traveled back up to their face and bright red eyes looked at him as if they were staring into his soul. the ruby red eyes felt heavy like rhinestone's as they bored into his blue ones. the figure's presence in itself was imposing but their eyes... they seemed hypnotic, swirling with curiosity but also certainty as they scrutinized tommy. </p><p>a smirk settled once again on their face as they lifted their knee up placing their elbow down on it and moving to lean their hand against their cheek. tommy hated how calm they were. he hates how he was weak and probably stand no chance against them. his eyes screwed shut as his breathing quickened. he could still feel those haunting ruby eyes running over him.</p><p>"are you gonna hurt me?" the boy whispered his voice shaking.</p><p>the figure let out a deep laugh causing tommy to flinch, "kid you're dead i can't do nothin' to ya!" they chastised clicking their tongue.</p><p>tommy forgot he was was a ghost. he bit his lip as his head pounded. the boy also criticized himself in the head, how could he forget such a key factor? he clenched his fist harder digging his nails into his palm but he felt no pain. his whole body shook as he shook his head violently. tommy had to apologize. he had to say sorry for forgetting. that <em>man </em>would be mad. </p><p>"whoah kid calm down," the figure whispered their voice calm, "that guy really did a number on you huh?" the figured clicked his tongue once more as they raised their hand up to slowly meet tommy's cheek.</p><p>tommy flinched, his eyes scared as he finally met the ruby eyes again. he only relaxed when he saw they had no intention of hurting him. their hand was warm. the blonde leaned into the touch his body settling from the fight or flight response that came in. tommy didn't know why but he felt comforted by the fact the person was there. something about their presence, which had changed from when they first woke him up, seemed familiar. he yearned to be closer with them at the feeling of familiarity and the reassurance that they were here to help not hurt.</p><p>"you didn't answer my question you know." the ghost murmured as he reached for the figure's hand and pulled it down encasing it with his own. </p><p>the figure chuckled at the antic, "how do i explain this..." the figure trailed off tapping their other hand's finger against their cheek, "you could say i'm the embodiment of the nether. i keep order within the biome and am the helper to all the mobs that stay there." the figure stated happy with their summary.</p><p>"the nether?" tommy questioned head tilting to the side. the boy wanted to elaborate further but pursed his lips worried to annoy them if he asked another question.</p><p>the figured nodded, "ask as many questions as you want kid." they reassured red eyes shining with glee.</p><p>tommy nodded back mind swirling with questions to ask before he settled on one, "do you have a name then?"</p><p>"i do, though no mortal has heard of it. a god's name is precious." the figure chuckled head tilting back slightly, "well now that i think about it that pink-haired kid has heard but he's a demigod so he doesn't count." the god rolled their eyes at the mention of the demigod but tommy noted the fondness in their voice. "but for you kid," they started taking their hand out of tommy's grip to ruffle his hair, "i'll make an exception. it's soleil." the red haired figure smiled.</p><p>"soleil." tommy repeated liking the way it rolled off his tongue, "what a fun name! soleil. soleil. soleil." the boy started repeating the name happily bobbing his head in glee. </p><p>soleil chuckled shaking their head slightly as they stared at the boy. "do you have any more questions kid?"</p><p>"of course big s!" the. boy suddenly exclaimed before he stopped. big s? where did that come from?</p><p>"i'm glad to see your memory is slowly returning." soleil commented after a small silence.</p><p>"i called people like that big s?" tommy questioned his head tilting a bit.</p><p>"you will learn in due time." the red haired god simply said dismissing the question with a wave, "but really calling a god big s?" soleil teased.</p><p>tommy smiled brightly, "to be fair it is quite fun! but i'll call you sol, how's that mr. god?" tommy teased back. </p><p>soleil's eyes widened a bit as they dropped their head smiling, "you are very similar to him you know. you talk to me with no restraint or care. to be fair you have more energy compared to him, he was always so stiff only perking up at small things."</p><p>"i'm like the pink-haired kid?" </p><p>"yes. you are like the pink-haired kid." the god stated fondness lacing their voice once more.</p><p>tommy nodded again before he spoke after another period of silence, "how did i get into this area?"</p><p>"when you died i felt it." soleil admitted their tone turning sour, "my own soul is connected within the nether so i feel everything that happens. every lava bubble. every mine of a block. every mob that walks through. and who dies when something goes wrong. i was working on a new way for the piglins to trade with mortals when i had felt your body hit the lava. my own self was filled with your emotions. the regret. the fear. the pain. and the happiness." soleil whispered the last part their body slightly tensing.</p><p>tommy frowned at that action his own body going a bit tense. he didn't want the god to be sad. but he also didn't like the fact that his alive self was <em>happy </em>to have perished in the lava. the ghost shuddered at the pain he must have felt before it finally ended. though, he needed to hear more so blue eyes met red ones as he nodded as if to say continue the story.</p><p>soleil pursed their lips but nodded, "i realized that you would be transported as a ghost to the overworld and have to deal with all those people that hurt you. your soul was also a bit wonky and wouldn't be able to flourish properly. i couldn't let you go in without any memories and to have your ghost shown up like it was before i helped."</p><p>"before you helped?"</p><p>"your body was a mess kid." the god whispered, "your act of self preservation caused a mess within your soul. not to mention your body was burned to a crisp. there was no way those people would have recognized you. so i did a bit of clean up with some of my power i had to leave a bit of a burn mark but i did my best." they admitted before motioning to the boy's ear and a bit of his cheek. the ghost ran his finger over the area feeling the rough skin it covered the top of his ear and about an inch of his cheek. "after i fixed you up your body was on fire. it even almost hurt me to touch you. i had put too much of my energy into you and your body was overheating. the only thing i could think of was transporting you to the overworld where the snow was. i was just hoping it would cool you off. so i left you in the blanket of snow and transported to the underworld to inform my advisor that i would stay in the overworld for a bit but when i came back you were gone. though, lucky for you i was able to track you down because of the amount of power of mine that you hold." the god explained.</p><p>"why would you do all of that?" tommy murmured shaking his head, "you don't know me and i know a lot of people die in the nether so why me." the boy exclaimed his voice slowly getting louder. his anger caused him to stand fists clenching at his sides.</p><p>tommy noticed the way the god would start to speak then close his mouth hiding something. it angered the young ghost. he wanted— no he <em>needed </em>to know what had happened and why out of all people this god had chosen to help him. from all of his memories tommy could assume what type of person he was. he was hard headed and loved to cause trouble. then also yes he made mistakes but people always blamed him to the fullest extent. they never listened. they had wanted to use tommy for all they he was worth then thrown him out to allow the next person to get what they wanted from him. maybe it was better off that he was—</p><p>"don't finish that sentence." soleil hissed their aura spiking a bit as they rushed to stand up towering over the boy, "i can feel your emotions tommy don't you dare say it."</p><p>"i'm right though! i had done so much to harm others and didn't care what happened. i can't recall everything that i did but i know i turned into the person i didn't want to be!" the boy yelled his eyes hardening as he stared right into ruby ones. soleil could feel the fear that coursed through tommy's body clawing at his head and heart.</p><p>the god sighed their aura settling as they placed a hand on tommy's shoulder, "tommy you are a conflicted person, not a bad person."</p><p>the boy opened his mouth to rebuttal but closed his eyes and sighed. his body relaxed as he leaned against the cold wall. as soon as he did a sudden pain bursted into his heart causing the boy to let out a choked breath. his hand slammed against his chest squeezing the fabric in desperation. </p><p>"kid!" soleil yelled out panicked as they instantly reached out for the boy when his knees buckled and body went lax. they moved to find a comfortable position on the ground as they clutched the boy who was withering in pain his breath coming in periodically. his blue eyes trailed to look up at soleil's which were now a cloudy white as they frowned concentration clear on their face. "the boy he found out." they finally whispered after a couple of minutes before moving to look down at tommy. "hey kid. i'm going to do something okay? i need you to trust me. it's going to make you feel better." the god whispered voice calm.</p><p>tommy shakily nodded as he clutched his eyes once more a pained scream leaving his lips. why did it hurt so much? who was this boy? tommy had so many questions piling up in his head but he could only focus as his heart felt like it was being torn into pieces. how the hell was this happening? he was a ghost he wasn't supposed to feel pain. that was proven wrong as right now he squirmed and whined the pain spreading throughout his body but burned his heart the most. tommy could only sit there as soleil moved their fingers against tommy's temple before pressing down causing tommy to whimper a bit before he felt his body go lax and the pain to slowly dissipate.</p><p>
  <em>"tommy!" a voice yelled as it giggled.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>said boy opened his eyes scanning the area. he stood on a wooden path with buildings surrounding him. the place felt familiar. he then spotted the brunette boy in front of him and his eyes lit up. this was the boy from his other memory. the boy's blue eyes shined brightly as he held something out to tommy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"c'mon dude just take it!" the brunette whined his tone laced with fondness.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>tommy reached his hand out to grab the disc the boy was holding. his finger ran over the middle's purple and white detail before looking back up. the brunette was still smiling and rocking back on his feet.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"thank you?" tommy questioned looking back at the disc.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"what do you mean thank you? we did this together! we won the disc war, you got your disc back let's celebrate!" the boy started explaining his hands wildly moving as he explained. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>o</em>
  <em>nce he finished he grabbed the blonde's hand and dragged him to the bench he recognized from the first memory. the two sat down and tommy noticed the jukebox. he looked at the other boy who nodded before he placed the disc in. there was a bit of silence before music filled the small area. the brunette hummed along to the disc his foot tapping a bit before he looked at tommy and smiled brightly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"it's me and you against the world huh? we gotta stick together though." the boy stated firmly a serious glint shining in his eyes before being replaced with a happier one.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"yeah..." tommy trailed off, "us against the world." he whispered wanting to just bask in the boy's presence.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>the blonde flinched a bit when he felt a hand brush against his cheek but settled when he realized it was the brunette's hand. he noticed how the other boy had a small frown on his face as he trailed the pad of his thumb over his burn mark. the boy opened his mouth to say something before the music cut off and tommy could only watch as the dream slowly faded away</em>
</p><p>"tommy!" the voice of a familiar god yelled as they gently held tommy in their arms.</p><p>"sol." he murmured as he stared at the god's worried face. the boy gave them a lopsided smile crooked and lazy.</p><p>the god chuckled shaking their head slightly, "welcome back to the world of the living kid." they said worry slowly leaving those jeweled ruby eyes. after fussing with tommy a bit getting him more comfortable in their lap, they began to speak again, "your heart was reacting to the emotions of someone who was close to you." they started to explain, "i sent you into a memory with them to calm your body a bit. i'm just assuming, but don't worry i'll look into it later, you contain a bit of my ability to feel the emotions of those who enter my realm. when healing you i really didn't think of the effects of mixing my power with your wonky soul. i'm assuming, once again, that it was just the heightened feeling of that person's emotions within your body that made your body freak out." they explained looking down at the ghost checking his face to see if he was overwhelmed at the new information.</p><p>tommy nodded not pressing into the matter further as he processed the information. he looked up at the god studying his face before pouting and turning away. questions continued to rack up in his brain before he settled on one he desperately needed an answer to. </p><p>"why did you save me?" the boy suddenly blurted out his tone serious, "seriously!" he whined the serious tone dropping when he heard the god sigh. </p><p>"your soul tommy. i couldn't someone with as good of a soul as yours be diminished to nothing but a speck of dust. especially when i could have done something to help." soleil firmly stated their voice clear and strong. </p><p>the boy sat there his mind repeating the words before a small smile crept up on his face, "thank you." he genuinely whispered.</p><p>"i would do it a million times over kid. now, do you need anything?" they questioned a soft smile on their face. tommy sat there thinking for a bit before his mind traveled to the memory soleil had showed him.</p><p class="p1">he longed for the boy whose name he couldn’t remember, but the touch of those fragile fingers lingered on his cheek. but of course he couldn't tell the god that. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hi!!! finally updated :)</p><p>i hope you enjoyed today's chapter. to clear confusion "the man" tommy mentions in the earlier paragraphs is dream and "the pink-haired kid" is techno! if you have any questions ask me! i'll be glad to answer them if it doesn't spoil future plot. (questions could be asked about characters backgrounds, if you're confused about an explanation, etc)</p><p>i also hope that my explanation of what happened to tommy made sense! i know i didn't cover more about his "wonky soul" but i will cover it in a later chapter!</p><p>thank you so much for reading and supporting me! comments and kudos are appreciated if you enjoyed the work!! have an amazing day &lt;3</p>
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